Today on my way to work I heard an interesting segment on NPR about rituals. One sentence out of the broadcast reminded me of a book I read, Emotional Recovery After Natural Disasters. They were talking about a study done recently on how rituals were important in our lives and the one sentence that stood out said that completing rituals after a loss can make a person feel better (which everyone facing a large loss needs). It was similar to advice given in this very good book by Ilana Singer who started counseling disaster survivors following the 1991 Oakland Hills fire.
It is a book I highly recommend to every disaster survivor. Even if you can't face reading an entire book yourself you can assign one of those really helpful friends and family members to read it for you and tell you about it over lunch (or a series of lunches). It will help you and your friend both understand what you're going through.
If you feel like you need help, the author offers counseling anywhere in the world via the phone. You can contact her at www.c-ctherapy.org/